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¶ GLASGOW, SCOTLAND, THE UK, EUROPE, THE WORLD, THE
UNIVERSE. BY THE AGE OF EIGHT IT SEEMED THAT WE COULD ALL REEL OFF THAT LIST WITH A MANIC
CERTAINTY THAT NOW SEEMS LIKE A PREDICTION. BECAUSE FROM ORANGE JUICE TO BELLE AND
SEBASTIAN TO NATIONAL PARK, ALL OF THE BEST MUSIC FROM GLASGOW HAS BEEN LIKE THAT:
AMBITIOUS, INTERNATIONAL AND EXTREMELY SELF-REVERENTIAL.
¶ THUS IT SEEMS THAT A PARTLY MYTHIC GLASGOW GOT INVENTED: STUART MURDOCH'S CIRCULAR BUS
ROUTE AND THE GROSVENOR CAFÉ SCAM, SATELLITE CITY AND THE BOTANICS, THE EXACT POINT ON
GREAT WESTERN ROAD THAT THE WHOLE WORLD OPENS UP IN FRONT OF YOU. THOUGH THIS IS A SMALL
PART OF GLASGOW AND YOU SHOULDN'T CONFUSE IT WITH SOME MODERN-DAY URBAN DISNEYLAND, I'D
SAY YOU STILL OUGHT TO GIVE IT A VISIT. THAT IS, IF YOU LIKE STYLISH EARLY 20TH CENTURY
ARCHITECTURE VIEWED THROUGH AN ALMOST PERPETUAL SLOW-MOTION DRIZZLE, AND ONE OF THE
BEST NIGHT-TIME HORIZON VIEWS YOU'LL EVER SEE, A POINTILLIST UTOPIA MADE UP OF SOME OF THE
MOST DISMAL HOUSING ESTATES IN WESTERN EUROPE. EVEN IF YOU'RE ONLY LOOKING FOR A GATEWAY
TO THE TOURIST SCOTLAND OF BONNY THISTLES, LOCHS AND GLENS, WHY NOT TRY US? JUST DON'T
MENTION EDINBURGH, OKAY?
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The hub of Glasgow's music scene is
unquestionably the 13th Note (13th
Note Café, 50 King St., 553-1638; 13th Note Club, 260 Clyde St., 243-2177). It's is noble
and it's intentions true. Everyone has played there and everyone digs the rundown glam.
The Centre for Contemporary Arts (350 Sauchiehall St., 332-7521) is slightly
glitzier, slightly more expensive. I always think it's cool to check out an exhibition and
then get drunk. But even the CCA must bow down to the Glasgow Film Theatre (12 Rose
St., 332-8128) for effortless European avant-gardism. The GFT building is stunning art
deco, and it gets all the best films and the hippest directors. Agnes Varda and Beth B
have given talks. Also Aggi [Wright, also of the Pastels] hung her first exhibition in
it's cafe/bar, so respect is due!
Saturday night is divine at the Art School (Vic Bar, Glasgow School of Art, 167
Renfrew St., 353-1608), Andrew and Slush Puppy's long-standing good vibration exravaganza.
But don't get too wasted because Sunday is speedway day at Shawfield Stadium (Sundays,
6:30 p.m., Rutherglen Road, 647-4121), and I'll be expecting you to get pretty vocal on
the fourth bend, with the awesome Glasgow Tigers.
Roughly in the same part of town is the Barrowland Ballroom (244 Gallowgate,
552-4601). It's the best mid-sized venue I've ever been in, tops for atmosphere, sound and
logo. If by some chance, say, Teenage Fanclub is playing there, you're in luck. Grab a
ticket quick! Downsizing from there are three pretty other notewothy venues: King Tuts (272
St. Vincent St., 221-5279), Nice 'N Sleazy (421 Sauchiehall St., 333-9637) and the Renfrew
ferry (Windmillcroft Quay, 429-8676).
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Hipsters can pick up just about any thing
in Glasgow, from the latest techno to German electronics to the next Belle and Sebastian.
And all before the suckers in London have caught on. Here's a list of my favourite record
stores in particular order: John Smith and
Son (9252 Byres Road, 334-2769), a bookstore front for independent, electronic,
avant-garde, jazz, classical and '60s music. Eight-O-Three Records (Flip basement,
70 Queen St., 204-1846) is a cardboard box operation with lots of cool US imports, punk
rock and independents. Other spots to visit include Missing Records (685 Great
Western Road, 400-2270,and 9 Wellington St., 400-1776) and Fopp Records (358
Byres Road, 357-1774). All of these stores stock vinyl, have courteous staff and will play
you something off their racks.
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If you come to Glasgow you might want to
get out of Glasgow. But only because you're so close to the countryside you'd be mad not
to. I recommend hiring a car and going out to Loch Lomond late, late in the afternoon.
Bring a mix tape, toast some marshmallows, and go skinnydipping if it's not to cold and
you're not being spied on. Alternatively you might want to go "doon the watter"
(not that any of us actually speak like that). You can get info on Clyde sailings from
Calmac (Caledonian MacBrayne Hebridean and Clyde Ferries, 0147-565-0100).
Exotic destinations like Dunoon and Rothesay, ahoy! Actually the Botanic Gardens (730 Great Western Road, 334-2422)
are pretty exotic and I've got to say we are very well served for parks and departments.
Swots like me spend hours in the Mitchell Library (North St., 287-2999), and I also
want to mention the Women's Library (109 Trongate, 552-8345). Pat Laureate (who
also runs super-hip label Vesuvius) will happily guide you through the collection of
women's writing and artwork, and Britain's most important lesbian archive.
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Fratelli Sarti's (113 Wellington St.
(deli), 248-2228; 121 Bath St., 204-0440) is a great, great Italian restaurant. We like to
eat in the delicatessen part, which is pretty informal and groovy. In fact, the last time
we were there they forgot to charge us. Glasgow has quite a big Indian population and an
impressive selection of restaurants reflecting that. But my tip is the Asha Vegetarian
Restaurant (141 Elderslie St., 221-7144), which is quite traditional and low key. The food
is never less than excellent and the service is super-friendly. But since you've come to
the UK, you've got to try a plate of fish and chips. The University Cafe (87 Byres Road,
339-5217) is probably the best place for this. It's so timeless you expect to be
experiencing it through a grainy film. They also do great ice cream. The best pizza slice
is at Little Italy (205 Byres Road, 339-6287). In addition the following cafes are
definitely worth checking out: The Grosvenor Cafe (31 Ashton Lane, 339-1848); Java, an
Internet cafe (152 Park Road, 337-6814); The Bay Tree for vegan food (403 Great Western
Road, 334-5898); 13th Note Cafe for vegan food (see "Hang Outs" for address);
CCA (see "Hang Outs" for address), and Insomnia for all-night food (38 Woodlands
Road, 564-1700). We won't let you starve
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